Normal vs Amazing

I have always been aware that I am not normal.

I never really understood what "normal" was supposed to mean anyhow. All I knew was that if it were a shoe, it certainly wouldn't fit.

I never cared to be this "normal", either. Whatever normal was. Even as a child I was aware that I had fresh ideas, a different perspective and an offbeat take on life that others always seemed to find either fascinating or refreshing. So, why change?

It wasn't until I was fully grown that fellow humans started asking the whys. And, not the "why"s of curious interest, but judgementally in tone.

I was taught manners very early in life. Some people may not have been exposed to that luxury. And, most times women can be the worst threat to their own kind in this area.

As today's Maya quote suggests, how can we see amazing if we're always searching for normal? Let's not put that kind of pressure on one another.

As women, we should try our best not to question or judge each others':

• Life Choices. We didn't all go straight to college after high school. We didn't all find our soul mates in our first half of life. We weren't all meant to be mothers. We're not all striving to have millions in the bank. We're not all meant to live in the same town, in the same type of home, with the same chevron curtains hanging in the front window. We are not Stepfords. Neither should we care to be. Not every life step is a choice, either. It's just the way one's path has wound. Never question why someone's where they're at. They've probably never even questioned that themselves. They just are.
• Feelings. Never ever negate someone's natural feelings. If an emotion crops up in any human, it's a matter of cause and effect. If you caused a bad reaction in someone, don't chastise or belittle them for it. Use it as a teaching moment in how to interact with this individual in the future. Tears are not a sin. They're true feelings leaking out of one's body. You can't scold human plumbing.
• Pasts. Since no one can change the past, why would you even question somebody's?
• Style. Things I've actually been asked in life: "What made you put that outfit together?", "What makes you think those two colors match?", "Why'd you cut your hair?!", "What's with those shoes?", "Why are your pants cuffed?", "Why are you wearing a dress? Who are you trying to look good for?" It's also been suggested that my choices in hair color have been less than stellar. But, know this. I've been dressing myself for several decades now. Anything that's on my head, face or body is there because I put it there. If you have some sort of set of fashion rules, that's great! Feel free to use them when dressing yourself.
• Thought-Paths. "Why on earth would you do that? What were you thinking?" Maybe, I wasn't. Isn't it glorious? 

We're all on our own paths in life. When someone crosses yours, it wasn't to be set up to be open for judgement.

If they choose to share a part of their story with you, it's because they're inviting you to peek at their journey. They're not necessarily prying for advice or asking your opinion on whether you find them to be the acceptable degree of "normal" or not. They're simply letting you get to know them.

There is no normal. No one could be it if they tried.

We're all wired differently so that we can enjoy the newness of one another. Never try to short-circuit another's wiring with your opinions or inquisitions.

If you cross paths with someone who is "different" and you make the decision that this brand of different doesn't interest you, quietly move on and let their "amazing" happen without you. If it is a type of "different" that peaks your interest, skip the "why" and trying substituting with a "tell me more."

The next time someone approaches me with a discriminatory "why", I think I'll just answer, "Because that's where life took me" and then quietly step out of their path.

[For a humorous take on "normal" from a child's standpoint, click here.]