I've been flipping through my Maya adages to find the perfect match for the current events of this tragic week.
"Hate. It has caused alot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet." was the first to come to mind.
I've seen so many beautiful quotes on love vs hate posted this week by the likes of Martin Luther King, Jr., Mathatma Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Jesus Christ.
But, after two days of sadness, anger, disbelief and frustration with this nation; it was the one pictured above that stood out to me today.
"If you get, give.
If you learn, teach."
-Maya Angelou
I don't know the solution to our country's problem with hate, violence, prejudice and dysfunction any more than the next person does. But, a common thread found within these United States is, not only a lack of giving and teaching; but an excess of misgiving and misteaching.
It's easy to recognize the actions of hate in hindsight. But, where are its roots?
Give: People are keen on the idea of receiving. But, when asked to give, the excuses flow forth.
I see constant debate on social media over the state of welfare in our country. Some think no one is entitled to a helping hand. Others think they deserve everything handed to them by rights of mere citizenship. Everyone has their opinion on what our taxes should and should not be spent on. But, if that money were ours to keep and give charitably as we choose, would we really be spending it on the things we preach we would?
We have millions of opinions on our government's choices on giving. It stirs us up. It angers us. It gives us tight fists over hands we don't control. But, what do we do with what we actually have? With what we've worked for. With our time? With our talents?
It's easy to point out what others don't have: "Look at the neighbor's kid, running around with holes in his clothes!" "Those Johnson kids play outside all day and never go inside for lunch!" "Old Man Wilson's lawn is overgrown again!" "That car with the flat better move off the highway. It's going to cause an accident!" "That stray cat that's been hanging around is all nasty, skin and bones!"
It's easy to recognize a need. That's not petty at all. It's when we choose to talk about these things without any intention of aiding that pettiness sets up its hateful roots.
Do you have hand-me-downs laying around? Food in the house? A lawnmower? A jack in the car? A loving home? Give! Share!
Don't point out the needs of others unless you're doing so to find them help.
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving." -Amy Carmichael
If you choose to see others as humans---not for their needs, not for what they have or don't have, not for their differences or similarities---maybe that can be the beginning of erasing the idea of "us" and "them".
If we are all "us", there can be no "them".
Teach: I see alot of "teaching" going on these days. Especially during this election year. (Word to the wise: Teaching traditionally isn't done in all caps.)
In a single Facebook session, I've been schooled on racial appropriation, food toxins, breast-feeding, slut-shaming, gun control, who to vote for, who not to vote for, which god I should believe in and also why I shouldn't believe in one at all.
Back in the day, we were educated in school, in our places of worship, in the home, by three television networks and within our circles of friends. These days we have the internet and are exposed to a whole new plethora of learning.
This is great for book reports, research papers, library-less communities. Responsible use.
But, this also means that everyone's opinion is everywhere. And, the easily-influenced now have access to ten million versions of absolute truth.
It's often said that hatred isn't something one is born with, but is taught. I do believe this to be true. But, I also believe many are ignorant to who it is that's doing the teaching.
I just did an internet search on "hate is taught" and some of the accompanying memes in its results only proved this point further.
This phrase was pointedly attached to images of specific races and religious groups. "[Religious Group] children are raised to hate us!" "[Race] and [Other Race] kids play together until [Race] parents tell them not to!" Grown adults actually posted this mess as some sort of lesson on world harmony. By finger-pointing at what another race/religion is doing wrong?! Newsflash: You've just influenced more hate.
We need to choose our words more carefully and recognize that we are all teachers, whether we've signed up for it or not.
Every word we've spoken has been heard by somebody. Which means that every negative opinion we've verbalized has influenced somebody in our lives. Intentionally or not.
Here's a cheat sheet so you know when you're teaching:
- Anytime a word comes out of your mouth.
- Anytime you type out words and then hit "post" or "send".
- Anytime you wear a tshirt with words on it.
- Anytime you put a bumper sticker on your car.
- Anytime you share someone else's post or internet meme.
- Anytime you respond to what someone else has said.
Live: Giving and teaching is done in our daily lives. We don't always realize when we're doing it either. That's how easy it can be to influence change.
The country is currently on edge over who our next elected leader will be. Will it be a racist? A liar? A cheater? A crook?
Either way, we will soon be led by someone that half of the nation did not elect. We will be led by someone that half of the nation does not agree with and led by a person that a large percentage will claim to hate. (FYI: Hating politicians is still classified as hate.)
Our singular vote is in our hands, but the outcome is completely out of them. So, what do we do?
We simply have to live.
Our president doesn't have a say in our voice. Our hearts. Our guts. Our world views. No matter what the election outcome, you are still you. Your convictions aren't dictated by who's sitting in the Oval Office. You still have your audience. You can still produce change.
You don't have to be a celebrity. You don't have to be a government leader. You don't need a megaphone or huge sphere of influence.
Everybody has a circle of humans that they interact with each day. Give lovingly and teach wisely there. If everyone were kind to each person in their path, every person on earth will have been shown kindness daily.
You don't have to be a celebrity. You don't have to be a government leader. You don't need a megaphone or huge sphere of influence.
Everybody has a circle of humans that they interact with each day. Give lovingly and teach wisely there. If everyone were kind to each person in their path, every person on earth will have been shown kindness daily.
My favorite stories that have come out of this week are the ones about police officers who make good use of giving and teaching in their daily lives. The ones who take the time, in whatever community they're assigned to, to interact with the children. To chat up the locals and become a true friend to the city that they protect and serve. The ones who make good use of the time spent exactly where they spend it.
I love the stories of races protecting other races and religions protecting other religions. This shouldn't be newsworthy. This shouldn't be noteworthy. This should be every day life.
I was blessed to grow up in a very culturally mixed community and it never dawned on me that this wasn't an all-American norm until someone on the outside would point this out. I grew up thinking racism was a sad lesson from the history books. Until I was old enough to watch the news, I didn't realize this still existed. I never knew of a concept "us" and "them" until the media tried to convice me that there was one.
Love: We might not feel inclined to love everyone. But, it is possible to show compassion to everyone that we meet. And, compassion breeds love.
When I was a young adult, I used to work in retail. I often worked late nights and there were several times where I was sure I was about to get robbed. There were times when it was obvious that a customer wasn't a customer, but was scoping the store layout and checking for safes and escape routes, without even glancing at the merchandise they were supposedly shopping for.
My strategy was always to engage with these people. They're human too, I figured. Human interaction elicits some sort of emotion, whether good or bad. I would always look them in the eye and smile. Greet them and show them kindness. They always left the store. They never once purchased a thing. But, they never once robbed me either.
I couldn't even tell you what race these people were. I couldn't tell you their height or weight or clothing descriptions. I certainly couldn't guess what I thought their belief system was. I wasn't paying attention to those things. I was looking into their eyes and hoping to see their hearts.
When I was a young adult, I used to work in retail. I often worked late nights and there were several times where I was sure I was about to get robbed. There were times when it was obvious that a customer wasn't a customer, but was scoping the store layout and checking for safes and escape routes, without even glancing at the merchandise they were supposedly shopping for.
My strategy was always to engage with these people. They're human too, I figured. Human interaction elicits some sort of emotion, whether good or bad. I would always look them in the eye and smile. Greet them and show them kindness. They always left the store. They never once purchased a thing. But, they never once robbed me either.
I couldn't even tell you what race these people were. I couldn't tell you their height or weight or clothing descriptions. I certainly couldn't guess what I thought their belief system was. I wasn't paying attention to those things. I was looking into their eyes and hoping to see their hearts.
Is it really that easy? It's simple in theory. But, it's not easy!
It's hard to reach out when you're tired. When you've had a long day. When you don't feel like being a helper. You don't always have to be the helper. Just don't let a bad mood turn you into a hurter.
Especially in your every day company. Those are the easiest audiences to let your guard down around.
I'm a smart mouth. I'm quick to blurt out whatever comes across my mind. I'm constantly biting at words I'd just spoke, trying to gobble them back in after it's too late. I might say something rude just to shoo someone away. You never know how this might be misinterpreted.
It's not always a race issue, a religion issue, or a social issue. It's a heart issue. Are you going to choose to be hard today? Or, be soft and approachable? Do you want to be a helper or a hurter? Giving and teaching are outward actions. We can't close up within ourselves and expect change. We must do. The rest will fall in line. Your actions will affect your circle. And, your circle's mood and actions will reflect off of how they've been treated and what they've been shown.
I think so much of the hate we see in the world spawned from people who were never shown kindness or love. And, so much of hate was bred in homes that misgave and mistaught.
This happens individually. Not as a whole community. Not as a entire demographic. Let's stop the cycle of thinking there is an "us" and a "them". Let's not let the next generation even know of this concept.
Let's see the "bad guys" as individuals. The ones who made a choice to do wrong and chose not to become the person they were created to be. Don't lump them together with everyone that looks like them, talks like them, worships like them, or goes to work at the same place as them.
Is everybody going to follow suit? Of course not. But, wouldn't that be nice?
In this regard, it's just as important to represent ourselves well. If we have people in our circle who regard us as a "them"... let's change their concept of who "they" are and what "they" act like. If we don't fit their stereotype, then maybe, just maybe, someone's stereotypes might dissolve around them.
Everyone that is on the news this week is a human. The shooters are humans. The victims are humans. The witnesses are humans. The reactors are humans. The demonstrators are humans. The media is compiled of humans.
Some made the worst choices and should pay the consequences. Some are victims of these choices and are forced to live with this uninvited pain. Some watched these events from far away and took home the wrong lesson. Some spoke of these events in not the best way, stirring up more anger. Every one of these involved was human.
I do not support bad behavior. But, I do support and keep hope for humankind.
May something good come out of this week's ashes and may this nation be healed and changed.
It's hard to reach out when you're tired. When you've had a long day. When you don't feel like being a helper. You don't always have to be the helper. Just don't let a bad mood turn you into a hurter.
Especially in your every day company. Those are the easiest audiences to let your guard down around.
I'm a smart mouth. I'm quick to blurt out whatever comes across my mind. I'm constantly biting at words I'd just spoke, trying to gobble them back in after it's too late. I might say something rude just to shoo someone away. You never know how this might be misinterpreted.
It's not always a race issue, a religion issue, or a social issue. It's a heart issue. Are you going to choose to be hard today? Or, be soft and approachable? Do you want to be a helper or a hurter? Giving and teaching are outward actions. We can't close up within ourselves and expect change. We must do. The rest will fall in line. Your actions will affect your circle. And, your circle's mood and actions will reflect off of how they've been treated and what they've been shown.
I think so much of the hate we see in the world spawned from people who were never shown kindness or love. And, so much of hate was bred in homes that misgave and mistaught.
This happens individually. Not as a whole community. Not as a entire demographic. Let's stop the cycle of thinking there is an "us" and a "them". Let's not let the next generation even know of this concept.
Let's see the "bad guys" as individuals. The ones who made a choice to do wrong and chose not to become the person they were created to be. Don't lump them together with everyone that looks like them, talks like them, worships like them, or goes to work at the same place as them.
Is everybody going to follow suit? Of course not. But, wouldn't that be nice?
In this regard, it's just as important to represent ourselves well. If we have people in our circle who regard us as a "them"... let's change their concept of who "they" are and what "they" act like. If we don't fit their stereotype, then maybe, just maybe, someone's stereotypes might dissolve around them.
Everyone that is on the news this week is a human. The shooters are humans. The victims are humans. The witnesses are humans. The reactors are humans. The demonstrators are humans. The media is compiled of humans.
Some made the worst choices and should pay the consequences. Some are victims of these choices and are forced to live with this uninvited pain. Some watched these events from far away and took home the wrong lesson. Some spoke of these events in not the best way, stirring up more anger. Every one of these involved was human.
I do not support bad behavior. But, I do support and keep hope for humankind.
May something good come out of this week's ashes and may this nation be healed and changed.
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