Enough

The term "enough" is a hard one to grasp.

Enough can't be measured in volume or length. You can't color code it, find its picture in a reference book, or even put a number on it.

It's one of those rare labels where Enough is simply the exact perfect amount to be. Although, your Enough may sometimes seem too much or too little for certain others around you.

I've had one of those blessed/cursed years where I've exhausted myself striving to be more than Enough. If Enough is the perfect measure for oneself to be, I was going for impossible-to-earn extra credit points in that department. 

There's a reason the words Enougher and Enoughest don't exist in the English vernacular. They are unnecessary to the concept as a whole.

When someone doesn't embrace the spirit of your Enoughness, it's most likely a glaring sign that they simply don't belong in your life. I, usually choosing to be near-sighted when it comes to signs, have always had a hard time accepting that.

You see, I'm a pleaser. Being a middle child, I've always been a peacemaker. If I see something broke, I want to fix it. If I see discord, I want to unite. When I see someone taking wrong turns, I want to guide them onto the right path (even if my version of "guiding" feels more like careening into their lane and T-boning them back to my exit at 85 miles per hour.)

I have a heightened sense of empathy and it guts me to see others learns lessons on their own. "No, no! That's the hard way! I've already tried that! Why won't you just learn from my mistakes?!"

Sometimes people don't jibe in your life. It's not wrong, just a misfitting of wants and needs. You're not meant to be friends, don't need to enemies. You interact with them when need be and move on about your merry way.

Yet, other times (more often than I'd like to admit) some people just choose to be assholes.

My empathetic spirit seems to think it's the Asshole Whisperer. Why are they cruel? What in their history made them this way? Why do they hurt me? And, how does it not make them feel bad?

You can try to clean an asshole. Wash it, polish it, talcum powder it until it looks pure as snow. But, an asshole is still an asshole. And, there's no sense trying to be its Whisperer because assholes don't have ears.

Sometimes when an asshole needs to be removed from your life, God will send an even bigger asshole to do the job for you.

This happened to me recently. Instead of walking away and seeing the task as being handled, I chose to waste a few weeks trying to whisper to two rear ends. Then hiss, then bark, then throw my hands up in disgust and cry in frustration.

Then I finally remembered to pray. Praying reminded me that I'm more than Enough. And, that it's time to accept that not everybody gets to stay in your life who's not treating you right. It's not your job to fix them. They don't want you to be their savior or especially their moral police. There's no crime in walking away from people who don't respect or appreciate you.

To quote someone much more eloquent than me, Iyanla Vanzant makes a great point in her book Get Over It!  She says, "Acceptance does not mean agreement, nor does it mean we feel good about what we're facing. It does, however, mean that we're willing to look for and embrace the lesson."

That lesson for me is that it's okay to walk away and focus on the people with Need cups that are the exact same serving size as my Enough.